Where's Waldo's Real Life?

The other day, my friend Ashley posted about a colleague committing suicide and it being such a surprise.  She made the comment that her friend's Facebook posts never let on to there being a problem.  She pointed this out in an effort to encourage others to be real and to not assume that just because things look great on Facebook, that it rings true behind the screen.  I concur.

It has bugged me though, since I read that post.  I think about my own Facebook page and the message that I give off.  Yes, I share some personal stories of struggle here and there.  But, for the most part, I try to keep it light, comical and positive.  My closest friends know about my day to day reality, but for anyone who might think otherwise, I wanted to put some 'real life' out there.

I WISH... my kids always ate healthy.  

Reality:  Nope, they don't always eat healthy.  Yup.  It's true.  I'd love to say that every meal is fresh, organic and homemade, but that's just not the case.  I post up my victories on FB hoping that I can share a recipe or secret that I found, not to express my unwavering healthy menu.  Their diet is most definitely as clean as I have the patience for, but guess what?  We had cinnamon rolls for breakfast yesterday morning.  And they really like breakfast tacos from Rusty's.  They both had a cup full of cookies and cream ice cream tonight.  Last week they had popcorn for dinner.  

I will buy organic, non-gmo every possible opportunity.  Yet, not every morsel they eat will be perfect.  That's life.  Some days I do better than others.  And *gasp* some days I really just couldn't care less.  Tomorrow's a new day ~ another chance to do my best.  Some days my 'best' is better than other days.

I WISH... my house was somewhat organized.

Reality:  I never make my bed.  My sheets don't get washed every time I do laundry.  A hamper catches everything from the dryer because I hate folding clothes.  I just don't see the point in the kids' rooms being clean all the time?  Two seconds after it's straightened up, it's completely destroyed.  A clear path from door to bed suffices most nights.  Dishes in the sink, on the counter, on the table - business as usual.  I live here, yet I still haven't unpacked boxes.  *shrug*  I'll post up a proud clean moment... mainly because, well, it's rare... 

I WISH... my marriage was always bliss and butterflies.

Reality:  We went through hell and back to find out that bliss meant me learning how to evolve from stone-faced silent treatment and holding a grudge to a vocal all out temper tantrum then all is good with the world.  It meant that we really, really didn't like each other for as long as it took to understand that if you can finally be honest enough to say it, you've made progress.  I post a lot of great posts about my husband, not because he's the last of his kind, but because I know how hard he worked to get to where he is.  I know how hard I worked to let him be who he has become.  His singing in the morning is funny on a FB post, but in reality, at 7a or 8a, I'd like to stuff a sock down his throat. He's a morning person; I'm not.  Do we have horrible, divorce threatening problems?  No.  But we did.  I think I told someone recently, we got it wrong a heck of lot more than we got it right... but every wrong has helped us get to the 'right' a little bit faster than the last time.  

I WISH... I never got angry or lost my cool.


Reality:  I DO get offended.  I DO get my feelings hurt.  I typically go on a tirade and rant for a half hour before I finally get it out of my system and see that my ego is in the way.  It isn't until then that I see 'the moral to the story'.  I try really hard not to respond or react when I'm angry.  That doesn't mean I don't get mad, think mean things or visualize a throat punch here and there.  It just means it took me a little bit to find my Zen... to realize another perspective... to let go of the "me" and refocus on the "we."   I post up my revelations, not because I'm privy to a secret peace, but because I fumbled and learned a valuable personal lesson.  It's part of the journey.  It would be a sad thing to wish away life's lessons... but that doesn't mean I haven't.

I WISH... I knew exactly what I wanted in this life.

Reality:  I still don't know what I'm doing.  I know there are things that set my heart racing and passion blazing.  When I feel that, I pursue it.  But, it's not there all the time.  Some days I wonder why I have committed myself to obligations that I once found exciting and now I dread.  Some days I wonder why I haven't accomplished all that I set out to do or what I'm here for.  Even when I'm not feeling great... I may still post something positive.  I do this because it helps me and I hope it helps someone else.  Even when I'm confused and not sure what the hell I'm doing, I post something inspirational that reminds me to keep moving forward, or hopefully encourages someone else to do the same.

I think it's important to remember that social media is just a snippet of a real life.  No matter WHOSE life.  We can't live with the expectation of perfection - for ourselves or anyone else.  We can choose what we want others to see and for me, I want to resonate positive energy, even when I might not be experiencing it.  I love to read and inhale the life and love given by others who post the same.

I hope that you choose to see the good in each day, that you always try your best, that you strive to be a better version of you... but, if you're sitting in the valley and wondering how everyone can be smiling all the time, don't fall into the trap of feeling 'less than'.  Reach out to someone - dare to be vulnerable even though you feel you're the only one.  I promise you're not.

Where's Waldo's Real Life?  Behind the screen... same as yours... perfectly imperfect.